Delayed Bacon

2006-07-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I'm supposed to announce the winner of this, today at a minute before midnight.

Regretfully, I won't be posting said announcement until, um, maybe. . .tomorrow. For reasons so unoriginal they are hardly worth writing about yet so pressing I hardly have time to describe, I must apologize for my tardiness in even perusing the entries. I don't even know if I can pluralize that subject, actually.

Though, I would like to initially thank the gentleman in California who offered to fly me out to that other coast since he cannot make it to New York for this Wednesday. If you are not an ax murder, I appreciate the offer. If you are an ax muderer, I am actually an obese 83-year-old Klan member with herpes.

I would also like to thank the darling man who, instead of answering question number two, made me a wonderful mix CD. The aptly titled, "Bacon Bits."

Also, to all the men who told me, "I don't want to fill out an entry, I just want to take you out," I thank you for your honest sweetness and lack of initiative.

Finally, a huge apology to all the people within earshot of me during the last two hours of my 16 hour shift at Florent on Friday night. Too many hours in four inch heels + unlimited access to magnums of Veuve Clicquot = One Loud and Obnoxious Miss Hag.

Sorry. Free bacon for you, too.

SIDE OF BACON CONTEST

2006-06-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

Rules : Please copy and paste the following questions into the body of an email message. Send this message with your responses to sideobacon@yahoo.com by 5 p.m., EST on Saturday, July 15, 2006. That's sideobacon at yahoo dot com. For those in the 'hood, paper entries will also be available at Florent and Gstaad whenever Miss Marisol is working. That's up to you to find out.

The first place winner and runner-up will be announced on Miss Hag. at 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, July 16, 2006. The first place winner will accompany Miss Marisol on her first date in seven years. This date will take place on Wednesday, July 19, 2006. Terms of said date shall include cocktails at a reasonable hour at the Russian Samovar in Manhattan, New York. Travel to the date location will not be provided by the Side of Bacon Contest. However, Miss Marisol will probably buy the first round.

(Note: the term "date" within the context of this contest is an objective noun and not an active verb.)

Runner-up in the SIDE OF BACON CONTEST will win a coupon redeemable for one free side of bacon from Restaurant Florent.

In the interest of fairness, all identifying information (e.g. name, email address, etc.) will be kept from the principle judge (Miss Marisol) until the revealing of the contest winners. Mister g8s will be in charge of online entries. Florent's overnight floor manager, Sergio, will be in charge of paper entries. Bribes will be considered.

QUESTIONS:

1. If you had to spend the rest of your life in another country (besides the one where you currently reside), where would you live and why?

2. Name five songs you would include on a mixtape for a girl you like.

3. What is the last book you read?

4. If I asked your closest female friend to describe you only using terms of scent, what would she say?

5. What is your favorite font?

EXTRA CREDIT:

Draw a five second self portrait

OR

Write a five minute autobiography.

GOOD LUCK!

I hope I win the bacon. . .

Side Of Bacon

Delayed Bacon

SIDE OF BACON CONTEST